That’s A Panther. A Tree Trunk. No, It’s An Anaconda! | Flash Post 369

What’s this? What’s an anaconda?

Button, an anaconda is a reptile and a massive one at that. Anacondas can sometimes grow to 28 feet, have a girth of 44 inches and weigh over 500 pounds. They are also capable of swallowing full-grown adults as well as other animals of different shapes and sizes. The other snake that can compete with the anaconda is the Asiatic Reticulated Python.

You can’t be serious!

About the swallowing of humans in one piece, I am. There was an incident some time back where a naturalist who intentionally tried to get an anaconda to swallow him live for a TV show was injured despite wearing protective gear. Anacondas and snakes of the python/constrictor family often wrap themselves around their prey and, after suffocating them, swallow them whole.

But why are we discussing anacondas and snakes all of a sudden?

Because zoo authorities in Kolkata have created a rain forest that will house four of these snakes. I even wanted to go pay them a visit yesterday but, to my dismay, found that they are in quarantine currently and will be let out into this enclosure only later this month.

Will they, too, grow to their maximum length in captivity?

Could well be with proper attention and care. I’ll also tell you a story about the prophet Jonah who was swallowed whole by a whale. Jonah was instructed by God to go to the town of Nineveh to warn it’s people to change their evil ways or else, they would be destroyed. When Jonah tried to escape from what he had been instructed to do by God,  a great storm arose and he was thrown into the sea and swallowed by a whale in whose stomach he spent three days and three nights.

What do you think he did in the stomach of that fish during that time? Let’s forget Jonah and the whale for the time being and explore what you would do if you were swallowed by an anaconda?

If I was swallowed by an anaconda, I’d use my iPhone to call one of my family members and find out if they could track me down and free me. Till such time, I’d pace up and down the length of the reptile to keep the blood in my limbs flowing and use the camera to click some images and document them and tell my story to the world some day. If my family failed to track me down, I’d talk to the reptile and plead with him to release me. If he was in captivity, I’d promise to set him free and return him to his natural habitat.

You have a way with creepy-crawlies and I’ve watched you speak with them often!

I’d coax and cajole him, whisper sweet-nothings into his ear, tease him and make a really good effort to make him understand why I wanted to be let off.

Your story is coming up well.

I’d tell him a story–without your assistance this time– and sing him a lullaby and try and calm him down.

What would you do for food?

We humans can stay without food for days. Maybe I’d lose the extra flab around my belly and be in a better position to woo Dost once again!

You are one to keep yourself occupied come what may.

If the anaconda continued to be adamant, I guess I’d die without my family and you beside me and that would be sad.

By the way, have you watched the movie Anaconda?

I haven’t and I wouldn’t because I’d hate to watch a movie that makes monsters out of other living species.