Dear Readers, you may notice the dates of the Blog do not match the Flash Post dates which are in real time. The blog was written in 2009 and saw the light of day 6 months back when my younger daughter discovered it and decided to bring it to you here.
Stomach Dialogues | Flash Post 436

Stomach Dialogues | Flash Post 436

Button, what ensued is hilarious.


So Dost and I were taking a short break in Singapore last week. You are aware of the drama he creates around eating regular meals especially when he and I are travelling. He has now decided that he wants to be stick thin and, every few hours, preens in front of a mirror with his chest puffed out and his stomach pulled in to ask me if there’s a paunch in sight!

And I’ve heard you tell him many a times that he doesn’t!

As I have a gastric situation, I have been cautioned to eat something small every couple of hours. The very mention of going down for breakfast in the hotel is something he does not favour because it is time-bound.

He has a point there. Who would, on a break, wake up to an alarm and get ready to go down for breakfast? I’d give a piece of my mind to anybody who’d do that to me. A break is a break from ones daily routine.

Which is why I got some stuff to eat with our cups of tea in the morning so we could chill in the room and take our time and leisurely stroll out and grab a bite either in the hotel or outside. One day, we got really late and the small bites I had hoarded in the room weren’t sufficient but I managed to gobble up quite a few of Digestive biscuits, a few cups of tea and also a huge banana but my stomach growled and growled in protest.

What about Dost’s stomach?

The funny part was when I heard a really loud growl and realised it wasn’t mine!

Don’t tell me! You mean to say it was from Dost’s stomach!

That’s right. That’s when the two protesters started a conversation.

Serves him right because his constant refrain is that he doesn’t understand hunger and never feels hungry!

And it was his stomach that spoke up before mine!

His: What is this, yaar? I am so hungry.

Mine: I am hungry too. What do we do?

His:Have you ever heard me protest because I am hungry? But I did it today because I feel for you and heard strange sounds coming from your end. It’s been almost 10 hours and we haven’t eaten anything substantial.  I growled hearing you growl but he didn’t pay heed.

Mine: What can we do but wait it out!

His: Can you hear me because I can hear you.

Mine: That was a loud one coming from you. Think of a way where we can pass on a message, yaar. Or we could play a game or do something while we wait?

His: I don’t know how to get a message across but we can keep ourselves occupied for a while. What game do you have in mind?

Mine: What about a game of Antakshari? Do you know how it is played?

His: That one where you sing a snatch from a song and I continue the game by singing a few lines with the last letter of the word depending on where you stop? Timepass. Let’s do this.

Such a feeling’s coming over me
There is wonder in most every thing I see
Not a cloud in the sky, got the sun in my eyes
And I won’t be surprised if it’s a dream…

Money, money, money
Must be funny
In the rich man’s world…

Mine: That’s not how it starts but I’ll let it pass.
Dum Dum diga diga
Mausam bhiga bhiga
Bin piye main to gira, main to gira, main to gira
Hey allah, soorat aap…

Pretty woman
Walking down the street
Pretty woman
The kind I’d like to meet…

Tere bina zindagi se koyi shikawa to nahin
Shikawa nahi
Shikawa nahi
Shikawa nahi
Tere bina zindagi bhi lekin zindagi to nahi…

You really mean that? That’s so sweet. I am touched.

Are you serious? I am half dead from hunger and you are getting all lovey-dovey? Can you think of a way to make these two see sense?

I think he has heard my growl. Maybe he’ll pay heed. In the meantime, let’s continue to play this singing game of yours. I can’t believe I am actually singing because I was crowned “Besura King” in school because of my complete lack of sur and rhythm. Your turn to go.

Mine: Your turn. But wait. Did you just hear them make reservations at Din Tai Fung for 7 this evening and it’s almost 6.

His: You’re right. They are masking up and, honestly, I don’t care where we eat as long as we eat something! Incidentally, that game we played—what’s it called? Antakshari, right? It was great fun and, most importantly, kept our hunger pangs at bay!

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