Life’s A Roller Coaster Ride | Flash Post 313

Button, your Dost and I were at a high-profile wedding reception last Saturday and I observed a few things that made me wonder.

Wonder! About what?

I noticed some distinctive senior-citizens who were there but didn’t have anything to talk about with their spouses. For instance, I noticed that the wife of a very senior politician was sitting on a bench provided at the venue while her husband sat on another bench blankly staring into space without talking with each other. I remembered Dost and I having a meal at the politician’s home years back, so I walked up to the politician’s wife, introduced myself and told her that we’d been to their house a long while back. At that point, she smiled at me though I seriously doubt she remembered anything.

Why is that?

I have no idea but I believe that when couples get older and are done with their respective duties, they’d be more accessible to each other, speak with each other, travel and have fun at that stage of their lives but it’s not so! When we were leaving, I turned around to see if they were still around.

And?

They were. They hadn’t budged from their seats and were still looking in different directions while others at the reception walked up to the politician to greet him.

That’s weird!

I notice this amongst young couples too and, with the advent of the cellphone, things couldn’t have got any worse! I’ve noticed young couples having dinner and reading their messages or tweeting or instagraming. But what about conversation? Two people can talk about a million things, making eye contact, holding hands and having fun.

Can’t one have fun on a telephone?

Button, don’t be stupid. It’s not the same thing as emoting, expressing your love for that person or telling that person you love him. Which is better and more effective? Holding the hand of a person you love, looking into his eyes and telling him you love him or sending a text to tell him that?

One can do both. No?

This?

Or this?

12 Comments

Zarina Mistry August 6, 2018 at 8:58 am

Give me a quiet walk in the garden, holding hands with my partner any day. How strange that my family and i were talking about this just yesterday. When we go out to restaurants sometimes, we just observe the couples around us. Some of them don’t even look at each other, some bring friends along to keep the conversation going while very few actually manage to have a conversation!

Reply
- author August 16, 2018 at 11:38 am
  
  My dear Zarina,
  
  Or a walk on the beach. Or even sitting on the ledge on Marine Drive and watch the sun disappear into the horizon.
  
  Cellphones are conversation killers. I guess a time will come when we will be able to control everything with their help. Won’t we all become bots then?
  
  Reply
cassandra gonsalves August 6, 2018 at 8:59 am

It’s not easy to make conversation. My husband and I struggle. Most times, we keep the TV on so we don’t have to talk. We’ve gotten so used to the silence that now if either of us actually talk, it will be like noise!

Reply
- author August 15, 2018 at 1:26 pm
  
  My dear Cassandra,
  
  It’s not some kind of an effort to make conversation with your spouse! Shouldn’t it come naturally amidst doing other stuff as well? Like watching TV?
  
  Reply
lovina shastri August 6, 2018 at 9:01 am

I think it doesn’t have to be either or. When there’s something to talk about, we talk. When we don’t want to hear each other’s voices, we shut up and browse through our mobiles. It’s actually more freedom. Yes, but we shouldn’t become addicted or dependant on the mobile either. It really is a conversation killer.

Reply
- author August 15, 2018 at 1:22 pm
  
  Dear Lovina,
  
  You’re right. As long as you do all of the things you’ve mentioned, it’s all good. My point was that I’ve seen couples hooked to their phones with blank expressions on their faces showing complete disinterest in each other. Now, that’s not nice.
  
  Reply
Poonam Mahapatra August 6, 2018 at 9:04 am

I have banned cellphones from the dining table. There is an unhealthy dependance on it as far as my children are concerned and its only going from bad to worse. I know banning doesn’t help anybody but there has to be a balance.

Reply
- author August 15, 2018 at 1:13 pm
  
  Dear Poonam,
  
  I’ve tried it out too but failed. Probably because I have a grown-up husband and grown-up children. Their excuse is that their dependence is work-related.
  
  Reply
zayd haji August 6, 2018 at 9:42 am

There is the real world which is great because it’s real. But there’s also the virtual world where you can be different people on different days and try various avatars. Both are great in equal doses.

Reply
- author August 15, 2018 at 1:09 pm
  
  My dear Zayd,
  
  Really? I’d find it very difficult to adjust to a chameleon.
  
  Reply
Meher Dcosta August 6, 2018 at 9:47 am

I feel bad for such couples. Conversation should never dry up. But different people get married under different circumstances. Some for pure love which lasts the longest, some find love after marriage and some marry for terrible reasons. No conversation is possible when one enters a relationship for the wring reasons. Whether it’s a year or 10 years later.

Reply
- author August 15, 2018 at 1:06 pm
  
  My dear Meher,
  
  I know of couples who hardly have anything to say to each other but have stayed wedded. Why does that happen? How does that happen? Is it because they feel they must stay by each other no matter what because they are married? Separations are painful. Maybe they feel its a better thing to stick around than split.
  
  Reply