Dear Readers, you may notice the dates of the Blog do not match the Flash Post dates which are in real time. The blog was written in 2009 and saw the light of day 6 months back when my younger daughter discovered it and decided to bring it to you here.
Beti Ya Beta—Give Them Both A Chance To Live! | Flash Post 357

Beti Ya Beta—Give Them Both A Chance To Live! | Flash Post 357

Button, when I was young and seventeen, I remember my father trying to find a groom for me. I wasn’t pretty in the least–in fact, I was just the opposite! I was dark-complexioned, skinny and awkward about most things being in my adolescence. Leave aside marriage, I had not figured out anything about my life!

Why the haste in getting you married?

For some weird reason, most parents in our time felt they had to get their daughters married off at a particular age or else they’d never find a groom. Any groom! Certainly not if they crossed the magical numbers of 18 to 21.

That’s so weird! Which means that the girl child is born to get married off when she’s a child herself to bear children?

You’ve just said it. It wasn’t like that for the boy though! The boy could get married at a much older age after completing his education so he could find himself a good job and later marry the girl of his choice or worse, wave his degree under the noses of the prospective girl’s family, to get a fatter dowry!

That’s so rotten!

I’ve tried to draw a picture of the way issues like these were played out and continue to play out even now, maybe in fewer numbers. Girls were never treated on par with boys. They were the lessor of the two, meant to be around to do household chores till she reached marriageable age only to be shunted away.

I am shocked.

Today, when I saw a young woman having breakfast all by herself at a dining club this morning in Singapore, it made me feel emotional and very very proud. Post breakfast, she opened a newspaper and began scanning though its pages. She was alone and seemed self-confident and self-assured.

Barididi and chotididi are exactly like that, don’t you think. They are young, independent women who know exactly how they want to live their lives and are going about it with full gusto! They love their work. They love their family. And they are proud of the way they are steering their lives.

I am very proud of them. Though I bring grooms to the table–sometimes authentically and most times in jest– I know that they’ll continue to live their lives the way they want, our flowchart be damned.

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