Turning a Year Older | Flash Post 443

How does it feel?

Button, both didi’s asked me the same question at tea time yesterday.

What did you say?

For me, turning a year older has never been about numbers. I see it as a blessing. The fact that I’ve lived a full year of my life without any major mishap—like losing someone I love or watch someone close to me suffering from some incurable disease or meeting with a fatal accident—makes me feel immensely blessed.

Does that mean you are looking forward to another year of smooth sailing?

I would definitely like that. But who can tell! It’s like a tree that’s felled all of a sudden for no reason at all because someone wanted to build a bridge and it came in their way. By the way— the midday carried a piece today that reported that more trees will be cut down to make way for the construction of Metro line 3! Life is a lot like that. Today I am here. Maybe I won’t tomorrow. Maybe I won’t feel as optimistic about turning a year older next year for a reason. But the fact that I’ve been around without any major deterrent in my life, gives me hope. And I look forward to each day.

What about the time you slipped into depression?

They were tough but I think I came out stronger. The one that hit me the hardest was the day my father passed. He passed without his cherished ones beside him. This is the biggest regret I bear and will continue to do so till the rest of my life. The fact that I was in his thoughts every moment of the day as long as he was alive and yet when he was alone and dying, I wasn’t there for him  Barring this one, in particular, I’d say I’ve had a smooth run thus far.

I know Dost is terrified of that one date every year.

I think it has more to do with not being able to do a lot of things he has in his “to do” list which, by the way, gets longer and longer with every passing year. He sees himself as a doer. A game changer. He does things all the time, hopes of doing much more and feels frustrated he is not being able to do justice to a lot of them given the immense pressure we are currently living under. Political pressure. Recessions looming over our heads. A pandemic we weathered. Actually pressure from every quarter because nothing seems to be going right. Even the weather is not on our side.

I notice you prefer to stay at home given a choice.

I’d opt for a good meal surrounded by my family that includes our three pets. I was also privileged because one didi cooked the best dal makhani for me for lunch which I ate over an entire week and the other made the yummiest mushroom risotto outside the country of its origin—Italy.

In all, it was a day spent well, I am guessing. Given a chance, would you have spent it any differently?

It’s like any other day for me because, like I said in the beginning, turning a corner is not about numbers; it’s about how I lived the previous year. Mine was practically seamless.