Tragedy Queen | Flash Post 411

Button, you mean Meena Kumari?

Can I ask you a personal question?

Of course you can. Ask me anything.

How do you shed such copious amounts of tears at the drop of a hat? I have watched you for years now and it seems to be getting worse. You cry when you read about a pet that’s been thrown out on to the streets. You cry when Messi attacks a butterfly, you cry when you chat with your sister about childhood memories and your long-departed parents, you cry when you have an argument with your daughters, you cry when your Labrador finds it difficult to get up as she is getting older, you cry over the pets who have passed away and over strays who’ve gone missing from time to time. You cry when someone says a few harsh words to you, you cry when you conjure up conspiracy theories of the hurdles generations after you will face because of the imagined bleak universe you are leaving behind. Were you to watch A Beautiful Mind for the millionth time, you’d still cry. You even cry when you hear Richard Clayderman play the Hungarian Sonata on the piano.

I cry when I am happy. I cry knowing that my daughters have grown up into strong-minded individuals, honest to the core and capable of handling any situation. I cry when I see the first strand of grey hair on my daughter’s scalp, I still cry for one of my Boxers who had to be put to sleep because of gastric torsion. I cried into my pillow for days when another daughter announced that she wanted to go and live by herself. I shed tears while talking with my psychologist about my father because I failed to be a good daughter. I cry when I look back and see the journey both Dost and I have covered from the time I was a young and naive girl of 17 till today when I am 67 and still learning the ropes of life from him. Sometimes, I don’t even understand why I cry!

I see that all the stuff you cry over are emotional.

And, yes, I cry when I eat spicy food!

You’re trying hard to be funny but I can see your eyes brimming with tears as we speak.

Come and give me a hug. Button.

You put our very own tragedy queen, Meena Kumari, to shame. Had you been in the movies, you could have bagged some of those roles.

I have tried not to cry but the harder I try, I cry even more.

Is crying a sign of weakness?

On the contrary, crying or feeling your emotions is not a sign of weakness. You have to be strong to cry.

Is there an interesting fact about crying you’d like to share with us?

Everyone starts life with that first cry.

18 Comments

Twisha Nandikar January 24, 2021 at 6:59 am

Dear author, this is one of the most beautiful posts you have ever written on this blog. You have successfully taken away the shame from crying. The minute I read this, I showed this to my family and told them never to make fun of me when I cry. And I do also cry at the drop of a hat. Thank you for this!

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- author January 25, 2021 at 7:07 pm
  
  My dear Twisha,
  
  Thank you. It makes such a difference when you like a post I have put out.
  
  I know of people who don’t cry at all even when facing tough situations and wonder how they do it! What do they do with all the bottled-up emotions! The dam is bound to burst some day.
  
  Reply
Bianca Gomes January 24, 2021 at 7:03 am

I literally had tears in my eyes and goosebumps while reading this. You are a very emotional person author and after having survived your bout of depression, it’s good to know that you still wear every emotion on your sleeve. We should all be fearless of showing our emotions. Thank you for telling us that we can. This article really resonated with me.

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- author January 25, 2021 at 7:12 pm
  
  Hi, Bianca. How are you?
  
  I want to share an interesting bit of information I read a few days back about how crying is an outlet for stress. For some people at least.
  
  Reply
Vinnil Shetty January 24, 2021 at 7:05 am

We men also cry but we have been brought up to feel like crying is a shameful thing for a man. Crying does not make us weak. It just means that we;’re strong enough to show people how we feel. Everytime I feel I’m going to cry, I get up and go away from my family or whoever I;’m with because I’m embarrassed and don’t want others to see me cry or think I’m a wuss. But now, I will change that. I will cry openly.

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- author January 25, 2021 at 7:26 pm
  
  My dear Vinnil,
  
  I have seen men cry and not thought of them as weak. Some of us are more emotional than others and express that emotion by shedding tears. There’s nothing embarrassing about that.
  
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Sudhanshu Trivedi January 31, 2021 at 2:36 pm

A Beautiful Mind is one of my all time favourite films. So many similarities ma’am. I lost my German Shepherd, Loki, to gastric tortion about 5 years ago. He was only 6 years old. There’s nothing you can do and the pain is so intense for them. I haven’t been able to foster or adopt after that. I still s=think about him and all my DPs are with him and me.

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- author January 31, 2021 at 7:14 pm
  
  My dear Sudhanshu,
  
  My eyes tear up even now when I remember our Boxer and it’s been almost 15-16 years since he passed. We, as a family, have taken a call to continue having pets around because of the unparalled joy they bring to our lives. Perhaps you can do the same and share your home with whoever you choose. Don’t deny yourself the pleasure of having a furry friend.
  
  Reply
Ratan Khatri January 31, 2021 at 2:42 pm

TBH I have also lost the ability to cry. I agree with Vinnil. It’s difficult for us to cry because for so long we have had to hold back due to embarrassment and humiliation. We genuinely feel ashamed to cry. People make fun of us if we do. So we need to go away and cry in isolation so that it doesn’t weaken our family and friends around us. Thank you ma’am. Such a refreshing read.

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author January 31, 2021 at 7:47 pm

Dear Ratan,

Don’t fall for what others think of you because, if you do, you’ll be living your life on someone else’s terms. This is your life. Live it the way you want: If you want to cry about something, go ahead and cry unabashedly. If you want to laugh, laugh out loud and to your heart’s content. There’s absolutely no shame about giving in to your emotions. It’s absolutely fine.

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Shabbir Ahluwalia February 7, 2021 at 9:43 am

For years my sister and I have named our mother Meena Kumari. She is exactly like you ma’am. She cries at the smallest things and most times we don’t even know if they’re tears of joy or sadness. And then she herself starts laughing when we refer to her as the cry baby of the family. Everytime she starts crying, one of us get up ad go hug her and then she cries even more! My father says she makes up for his lack of tears.

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- author February 7, 2021 at 7:13 pm
  
  My dear Shabbir,
  
  It could well be that she wants you to hug her more which is why she sheds tears often. It also proves that people like us wear our emotions on our sleeves and I find nothing wrong with that.
  
  Reply
Bratati Ghosh February 7, 2021 at 9:46 am

I feel crying is therapeutic. Most people feel sorry for others when they cry but I feel just the opposite. A person who can cry is also venting and making their souls lighter. One feels a tremendous sense of relief. Infact they probably even feel lighter. Crying is underestimated by human beings. Even therapists tell us to express freely and crying is a form of expression. Not necessarily related to sad incidents only. Like ma’am says, even a great movie can move us to tears.

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- author February 7, 2021 at 7:26 pm
  
  My dear Bratati,
  
  You’ve hit the nail on its head. You vent when you cry. You feel lighter when you cry: Therefore it is therapeutic.
  
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Nisha Balwani February 28, 2021 at 9:30 am

The only time I have ever seen my father cry is when I got married and went away to live with my husband in another city. He just couldn’t hold back his tears. I will never forget that day and neither will he because I have pictures to prove it! He still keeps saying that there was something caught in his eye.

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- author March 8, 2021 at 1:15 pm
  
  My Dear Nisha,
  
  I know of a lot of people who can stay without shedding a drop of tear in the midst of total disaster. Maybe they do so to lend courage to others.
  
  Reply
pushkar pandey February 28, 2021 at 9:33 am

It is human nature to cry. Some of us cry on the outside and some of us, on the inside. But all of us cry when we are moved or hurt or deliriously happy about something. Crying unfortunately has been associated with a sad emotion but that’s not the case. We cry when we’re happy too. We also cry when we laugh too much. Like my cousin. When he wants to actually cry or is really angry, he starts laughing instead of crying.

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author March 8, 2021 at 7:27 pm

My dear Pushkar,

It’s true that we do not cry only in times of sadness. We cry when we are happy. We also have tears streaming down our faces when we laugh a lot. We cry while watching a sad movie. We cry when we are angry. We also shed a tear when an alien particle enters our eye.

Crying covers an entire gamut of emotions.

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