Flash Post 281!

Button, I bet my bottom dollar that you’ll laugh so much at this post that you’ll split your sides.

Try me.

I called Dost on the number he has by his bedside to check if he’s okay eating alu parathas for dinner tonight.

Me: Hello.

Dost: Hello.

Me: Hello.

Dost: Hello. Who’s this?

It was clear that he wasn’t being able to hear me. It was also a little odd as he couldn’t recognise my voice. So I again said:

Me: Hello. Can’t you recognise who I am?

Dost: Hello. Who’s this?

Me: alubaba (My pet name for Dost because he can eat alu (potatoes) for breakfast, lunch and dinner!) Hello alubaba, it’s me.

Dost: Alubaba! Who’s that?

By this time I was rolling on the bathroom floor. Yes, I was calling Dost from the bathroom.

Me: It’s me. Can’t you recognise my voice?

Dost: Hello (Raised voice). Hello. Go and eat shit whoever you are. Saying that, he banged down the phone.

I called again but got a busy tone. When I came out after my shower to check why there had been a constant busy tone, I found that he had taken the receiver off the phone hook!

Dost replied: someone was asking for alubaba again and again and again and I got fed up as I’m concentrating on my column for next week.

10 Comments

himanshi gaur March 31, 2018 at 8:43 am

Hahahahahahah!! Author, you have a great sense of humour I must say! This is hilarious! It’s an achievement to keep the fun and humour going in a mariage…

Reply
- author April 1, 2018 at 2:56 pm
  
  Dear Himanshi,
  
  In fact, it’s a great way to keep a marriage alive and kicking–as long as you don’t have a grouch for a husband.
  
  Reply
lovina shastri March 31, 2018 at 8:52 am

I once blank called my boyfriend as his ex asking if he would like to catch up fro a drink…just to test him and see if he was tempted to cheat on our relationship…thankfully he said no! I still haven’t told him it was me! If I did, I don’t know if he would ever trust me again!

Reply
- author April 1, 2018 at 2:53 pm
  
  Dear Lovina,
  
  Pranks are good. They are healthy but don’t do it again as you may get caught.
  
  Reply
k vishwanath March 31, 2018 at 8:57 am

Oh I did the same thing…when I was young, I used to constantly call my parents on the landline number from another phone pretending to be the tuition teacher and tell them that tuitions were cancelled for the day and I would instead get to go out and play! Those were the days!

Reply
- author April 1, 2018 at 7:50 am
  
  Dear Vishwanath,
  
  Those were the days my friend
  I thought they’d never end…
  
  Mary Hopkins’s recording of this song with Gene Raskin’s lyrics was a chart-topping hit. I have no idea how old you are but listen to this song. Maybe you have already. And continue with your pranks: It’s a healthy habit.
  
  Reply
Zarina Mistry March 31, 2018 at 11:26 am

I wish I had this kind of a relationship with my husband! I’ve named him Mr Groucho because that’s all he does all day. He keeps mumbling rubbish under his breath and refuses to eat what I give him! Sometimes I think he is abusing me only…if I had done this to him, he would have kept a maun vrat for 6 months!

Reply
- author April 1, 2018 at 7:33 am
  
  My dear Zarine,
  
  Every relationship has its ups and downs. We fight, we make up, we needle each other, tease each other, sometimes play Groucho too but, over the years,(we’ve been married for 40 years) we’ve learnt that each day can’t be the same so we take one day at a time and squeeze out of it the joys as well as the sorrows.
  
  Reply
disha salgaonkar March 31, 2018 at 11:32 am

Do you still have landlines author? I have not blank called anyone for years because every instrument has number recognition these days. I remember when I was young, I used to blank call this guy who I had a crush on in school just to hear his voice. It was very common in those days. Today the innocence and romance of that has been replaced by the trolls!

Reply
- author April 1, 2018 at 6:39 am
  
  My dear Disha,
  
  We still have some around. My daughters hardly use them. The same goes for the husband. I happen to be the only obsolete one in the family who uses land numbers to order my groceries or medicines. But I’m one of those oldies who likes remembering telephone numbers because I think that will jog my fading mental health. At the same time, I’m also slowly beginning to discover the ease of using a cell phone where just a tap can dial the number I want to dial.
  
  Reply