February 22. “Story or news, Button?”

“We can do both.”

“No. It’s either story or news. Now choose.”

“News. It’ll be a change.”

“Do you know who a cat burglar is?”

“Tell me.”

It’s a burglar who breaks into homes through windows, from rooftops, stealthily. Just like a cat.”

“And?”

“In San Mateo in California, a security camera has finally discovered that the cat burglar responsible for a 3-year crime wave is a real cat. His name is Dusty and the items he has stolen include clothes, teddy bears and other small items. His owners said that his record haul is 11 items in one night that included shoes, socks, towels, gloves and toys. What he particularly favours are female bathing costumes!”

“So cute.”

“What’s cute about that?”

“Just visualize a cat hauling all these items one by one and dragging them to wherever he is hiding them. He must have stayed awake the entire night to steal all those 11 items! Where does he keep them? A 3-year haul will be a huge haul! How is it his owners didn’t find out earlier? Is that his picture? Is that a teddy bear he has in his mouth?”

“The other bit of news is that planet earth could be unrecognizable by 2050!”

“How?”

“A growing, more affluent population competing for ever scarcer resources could make for an unrecognizable universe. The same quantity of food that fed people in the last 8000 years will last for only 40 years!”

“Scary. Will we be around?”

“You certainly will be.”